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  • New Downtown Luxury Tower Will Require Residents to Meet Beauty Standards
    News

    New Downtown Luxury Tower Will Require Residents to Meet Beauty Standards

    ByCedric Harris July 28, 2026July 28, 2026

    A new luxury residential tower planned for downtown St. Pete will require prospective residents to meet minimum beauty standards before signing a lease, developers announced this week. The Aesthetic, a proposed 42-story luxury development in downtown St. Pete, will evaluate applicants using a combination of facial symmetry, physical fitness, wardrobe, and personal hygiene. β€œWe’re not…

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  • New Luxury Service Helps St. Pete Residents Keep Up With Changing Dog Trends
    News

    New Luxury Service Helps St. Pete Residents Keep Up With Changing Dog Trends

    ByCedric Harris July 24, 2026July 25, 2026

    The Poodle Exchange has officially opened in downtown St. Pete! The new luxury boutique allows residents to exchange their designer dogs as often as every 30 days, helping members keep pace with changing neighborhoods, social circles, and personal brands. The showroom features everything from Goldendoodles and Sheepadoodles to Bernedoodles and Cavapoos, with staff available to…

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  • Officials Stress 400 Central Built to the Highest Standards
    News

    Officials Stress 400 Central Built to the Highest Standards

    ByCedric Harris July 23, 2026

    ST. PETERSBURG β€” City officials held a press conference Tuesday to reassure residents that 400 Central was built to the highest standards of modern construction and remains an exceptional example of luxury development. “We’ve noticed some members of the public have developed an unfortunate habit of looking at the building with concern,” said Director of…

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  • PSTA Approves $300 Million Settlement for Jeff Knight Following Fatal Ferry Collision
    News

    PSTA Approves $300 Million Settlement for Jeff Knight Following Fatal Ferry Collision

    ByCedric Harris July 23, 2026

    CLEARWATER β€” The Pinellas Suncoast Transit Authority voted Wednesday to approve a $300 million settlement for local businessman Jeff Knight, concluding that after months of criminal charges, civil lawsuits, and relentless media attention, the businessman has simply been through enough. “We’ve heard enough about the people on the ferry,” said Graham Whitmore, Deputy Director of…

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  • Historic Trinity Lutheran Church to Welcome Exciting New Nightlife Concept
    News

    Historic Trinity Lutheran Church to Welcome Exciting New Nightlife Concept

    ByCedric Harris July 15, 2026July 16, 2026

    An exciting new chapter is on the horizon for one of downtown St. Pete’s most recognizable historic buildings! πŸ˜πŸ‘πŸŽ‰ Trinity Lutheran Church will soon be reimagined as Trinity Ultra Lounge, a thoughtfully curated nightlife destination featuring premium hospitality experiences, immersive lighting, VIP table service, and live DJ programming beneath the church’s original stained-glass windows. β›ͺ🍾πŸ₯‚

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  • City Says 400 Central Suspects Have Promising Future in Redevelopment
    News

    City Says 400 Central Suspects Have Promising Future in Redevelopment

    ByCedric Harris July 14, 2026July 16, 2026

    ST. PETERSBURG β€” While police continue searching for the two men accused of causing nearly $100,000 in damage outside 400 Central over the weekend, city officials say they were struck by one thing in particular: the suspects’ remarkable demolition potential. Security footage released by police appears to show the men ripping landscaping lights from the…

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  • St. Pete Unveils New Affordable Housing Experience Center Downtown
    News

    St. Pete Unveils New Affordable Housing Experience Center Downtown

    ByCedric Harris July 13, 2026

    ST. PETERSBURG β€” In an effort to clear up years of public confusion surrounding affordable housing, city officials gathered Monday morning to celebrate the grand opening of St. Petersburg’s new Affordable Housing Experience Center, an immersive attraction designed to help residents better understand what the city means when it uses the word “affordable.” The state-of-the-art…

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  • St. Pete Says Developer Funding Will Not Be Impacted By Property Tax Cuts
    News

    St. Pete Says Developer Funding Will Not Be Impacted By Property Tax Cuts

    ByCedric Harris July 7, 2026

    ST. PETERSBURG β€” City officials are reassuring residents that if Florida’s proposed property tax amendment passes this November, funding for private developers will remain fully protected. While local governments across the state have warned they may be forced to reduce spending on parks, libraries, road maintenance and other public services, St. Petersburg officials said residents…

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  • Mayor Welch Expected To Make Final Gas Plant Decision Next Week
    News

    Mayor Welch Expected To Make Final Gas Plant Decision Next Week

    ByCedric Harris June 28, 2026June 28, 2026

    ST. PETERSBURG β€” Mayor Ken Welch is expected to make his final decision on the future of the Historic Gas Plant District next week. The nearly 100-acre site is expected to be redeveloped into an upscale 15-minute district featuring luxury housing, commemorative hardscaping, and state-of-the-art Flock cameras. Officials say the development will honor the memory…

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  • Not to Be Outdone, St. Pete Offers Scientology Two Streets
    News

    Not to Be Outdone, St. Pete Offers Scientology Two Streets

    ByCedric Harris June 22, 2026

    Clearwater made headlines last week after gifting an entire street to The Church of Scientology. St. Pete officials have taken notice and say they can do better. Mayor Ken Welch says the city is now prepared to give Scientology as many as two streets downtown. “We believe this proposal reflects our commitment to spiritual technology,”…

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It's satire. If it feels real, that's the point.

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