Mayor Finally Learns Correct Hand Gesture, Accepted Into the Illuminati Within Hours
ST. PETERSBURG, FL — After years of incorrect hand positioning during public appearances, Mayor Ken Welch has successfully demonstrated the correct hand gesture, sources confirmed Tuesday.
Officials say the mayor had previously been performing the gesture in an inverted fashion, a variation interpreted as “throwing it down,” a gesture widely understood to signal disrespect or opposition.
“They strongly discourage the inverted form,” one source familiar with the process said. “It reminds them of the old St. Pete Pier, which they’ve been trying to forget.”
Following an evaluation of his latest performance, Welch was formally accepted into the Illuminati within hours of review.
Welch is expected to celebrate the milestone by attending the demolition of a local historic building.
